IML: Kenyon Wills visit, and the Imperial parts Nirvana experience

I was down in San Francisco last week visiting my Mom, and seeing friends. I contacted Kenyon to see if we could get together to meet, and talk Imperials. We were able to work out a time, and it was way too early on a Saturday morning too!. Anyway, I was on the road by 7:00 a.m. in my Mom's little, and I do mean little, Corolla, and Kenyon's directions were excellent, considering California's maze of freeways, and junctions, and offshoots. It was 7:30 a.m. by the time I got there, and no traffic that early on a Saturday, when the rest of the world is enjoying sleeping in like normal Americans, but noooo, I had to be there by 7:30 a.m.! It was fine, and Kenyon gave me the tour of the imperials he has in stock. The directions said that once I turned onto his cul-de-sac, if I could not pick out his house, we had no business getting together. Well, it was not to hard to pick the house with the '66 "LeBro", or that's what it looked like in passing, actually it must have said "LaBar", but I had not had enough coffee yet, and dyslexia took it's course. Nice car too. Hope the Saudi buyer finds a correct, complete script for LeBaron.

Pity the pushbuttons could not carry over to the later years, as I feel they are uniquely Imperial in appearance on the dash, and much more fun and a better setup then the "Generic" column shift mandated in '66, but done in '65 anyway. I guess the column was not mandated, but merely the shift pattern of P,R,N,D,S,L, as opposed to the higgledy pigglety array of configurations offered by Ma MoPar over the previous 9 model years in pushbutton format. Apparently the Gov't felt Americans were to stupid to be able to look at what they were doing behind the wheel, and shifting into a specific gear, especially when drunk, as was the style at the time, proved problematic as each auto maker could have, and at one point did have, their own pattern of gear selection. I THINK it was GM in the 50's at least that had column shift in a P,N,D,L,R pattern, and Ford had came up with what was to end up the standard pattern mentioned earlier, with Neutral separating Reverse from the Drive options, and Park above Reverse. It is only fair to mention that Ford did in fact, on the ill-fated Edsel have push button gear selection on the center hub of the steering wheel, which per their own ads was "...Where it belongs." As a side note, does anyone know one of the major reasons the Edsel never caught on? Purely psychological, but powerful nonetheless. Contact me off list if you care to know, or discuss further, but probably a major reason for "Focus Groups" of consumers used later by manufacturers as to what to, or not to, design into a cars appearance.

Kenyon gave me the tour, and as I had to be back in the City by 1:00 p.m. to go visit my Grandmother's former roommate, Ruth, who at 93 just gave up driving last year, and to my utter delight, sold my Grandmother's car to someone who really needed it. Rather than passing it on to me, as I had tried to hypnotize her to do years earlier. I hold no bitterness, or resentment. Right. "Here Ruth, let me help you down the stairs..." Nope, I did not go there. We had a very nice visit.

Anyway, Kenyon had an agenda, and a timetable for completing each task, and to my utter surprise, he was on spot with each one, down to drive time to get to each destination. The latter was "Doc's", which is where all the Imperial parts are. As I read the road signs and realized we were now in f*ck&$% San Jose! Could not get that Hal David, Burt Bacharach, song out of my head after that. You all know the one. Chart topper for Ms. Warwick? "Do you know the Way to San Jose"..."I've been away so long, I may go wrong. L.A.'s but a bunch of freeways, put a couple hundred down, and buy a car. After a week, or two, they'll make you a Star..." Yeah, that song.

When we got to "Doc's" I was amazed at the rows, upon rows of engines, scattered varied parts, but most of all, the "Texas Chain Saw Massacre" barn full cobwebs, spiders, and several of any one part anyone could ever need for an Imperial! I found 3 '66 hubcaps within the virtual mountain of '66-'69 style caps, and Kenyon threw in 3 extra earlier year caps that had perfectly good retaining rings on them so I might figure out a way to replace the destroyed ones on what are otherwise perfectly presentable caps that had flown off Doris at earlier dates, and been run over. The caps are all fine, but the retaining rings were mangled beyond any hope. Now, how to replace the retaining rings on the '66 caps I did salvage from the side of the road? It appears the backings are, for lack of better description, "Crimped" onto the hubcap, at least around the outer perimeter. That would need to be folded back, ring replaced, and re-crimped to be successful. Kenyon came up with a "slice, and weld" solution that could very possibly work, but would be expensive, I'm sure. Although, with the scarcity of these caps these days, it may just be worth it to have a reserve stash of the 20 lb. projectile killer hubcaps on hand. Is that Honda in the next lane with the big Kazoo "Muffler" getting on your nerves? Well, with just the proper pothole, you can dislodge a '66 hubcap smack into the Honda, and totaling it Pull over, retrieve said hubcap from the flaming wreckage, and scamper away. If anyone sees you, they will surely report your car as an Impala, and you will never get caught.

Kenyon also showed me a way to wire the caps on so as they would not be able to fly off. Very ingenious, and involves a nifty tool Kenyon had in his garage, I forget what he called it, but it was a twisting wrench/grip/wire spinner type of deal some guy in Pomona (where the proverbial Pimp in my previous posts is from) designed while drunk one night, and made his million on patenting, and marketing.

The only casualty was a Black Widow spider who had taken up residence in one of the '66 caps, and as I was holding it, she was moving quickly to let me know her position on my dislodgement of her home. A quick shake of the arm, while releasing the said hubcap as quickly as humanly possible from my hand was all that needed to dislodge her from her home, the cap, and Liz, Kenyon's girlfriends quick stomp of her foot, sent the BW to "The promised land".

Upon my arrival back at my Mom's apt., I struck a deal with her. Let me clean the caps up in her tub, and I would scour the whole thing, wall tiles and all. After assuring her the dislodged buildup of years worth of dirt, and weed debris (from the caps, not my Mom's tub) would in fact NOT clog up, and utter useless, the San Francisco Municipal Sewer System, I was permitted to proceed. My Mom was so happy with her shower/tub cleaning, and that the S.F. sewer system was well equipped to accommodate the sheer volume of dirt it was subjected to in such a short period of time, she shipped the 6 caps to me gratis.

Kenyon was a swell host, a lot of fun to talk to, and I got to see up close and personal the differences in the lines between a '70 Imperial, and a '73. Both fine cars in style, but I will go with the '70 as my personal choice. Although with the bumper extensions on the '73, making it the largest Post WWII production car is an appealing thought, and they are quite striking. At least the 4dr is. More so than the coupe, which I prefer the '69-'71 version of with it's rounded rear quarter windows, rather then the '72-'73 coupes squared quarter window. That is merely a personal preference, as all Imperials are beautiful in their own rights.

In summary, if you want a part for your car, and would care to meet a very nice fellow Imperialist who is just genuinely trying to help all these parts, and supplies get good homes before they are all sent en-mass to the county dump, contact Kenyon, and go for a drive to Hal David/Burt Bacharach/Dionne Warwick land. Hum the tune while traveling.