Imperial embarrassment
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Imperial embarrassment



I had a friend come to visit who was buying a car close to my home this weekend. He had moved to Utah a couple of years ago, so this was the first time he saw my Imperial, which he was quite impressed with, especially the fact that they had power windows back then. We were out driving in the Imperial when he asked if I could stop by Wall Mart. After leaving Wall Mart we got in the car, and when I went to start it nothing happened. I turned the key again, and nothing. I got out to check the battery connections, which were fine, and my new found over radio light was shining like a beacon, so I knew the car was charged. Just when I was about to call triple A, concluding the starter must be shot, I looked at the push buttons, and saw that the car was in D. Once I changed it to Neutral everything was fine, Duh! Then I told him I needed to gas it up since it was approaching the 200 mile mark on the trip odometer. We left Wall Mart, and while driving down the street headed toward my home, it started to sputter, and shut down, you guessed it, I was out of gas again. We walked about a half mile down the road to a gas station, where I finally bought a gas can, then headed back to the Imperial, only to find the gas can I just bought was the most ridiculous design I have ever seen, and when you tipped it upside down to put the gas in the tank, most of the gas leaked out going everywhere but in the tank. After trying several configurations of attaching the spout with the gasket on the bottom, top, etc., the gas still leaked everywhere. I put the can upside-down in the tank holding the spring loaded nozzle open, while straddling and pushing myself against the fin for leverage. My friend then went into hysterics telling me it looked like I was peeing in the gas tank. I then decided to remove this ridiculous nozzle and just pour the gas in the tank. After finally getting the car started again, I stopped to fill it up which was nearly fifty dollars worth of gas. Who would have thought such a simple drive to Wall Mart could become such a comedy of errors!
Bill '59 Crown


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