Taken from the last Collectible Automobile issue (December 2002) :
CHRYSLER
1955 Windsor : "As pleasurable as inheriting money ... everything from a
golf ball polisher to a sable softener [but] parking is like playing
ping-pong with an anvil"
1955 300 : "Glandular wildcat ... stiff as an Englishman's upper lip"
1956 Windsor : "Smooth as a vanilla ice cream soda that's been standing in
the sun"
1956 300-B : "As stock as kilts on a Chinaman"
1957 300-C : "Motorized dynamite"
1960 : "Pings like hail an a bald man's head ... steering as accurate as a
sharpshooter's rifle"
1960 300-F : "Smooth as oiled spaghetti"
DODGE
1957 D-500 : "Rabbit's rabbit ... widest trunk since Edna Ferber checked out
at the Saratoga"
1957 roofline : "Reminds me of a guy with a receding hairline"
1959 : "As new as next February's cold"
1960 Dart Phoenix D-500 : "Helluva ridge-runner for the moonshine boys ...
enough stuff to turn humidity into steam"
IMPERIAL
1955 : "The taillights resembled moose antlers an a canary"
1956 : "Where are the harem girls that must go with this Sultan's babouche ?
... the only forward ornament on the car is good old Herman the Coot in jump
position ... hits the scales, dry as a bar going though South Carolina, at
4530 pounds ... anything less [than full-time power steering] is like
playing catch with an ice cube"
1957 : "Stands out like a beer ad on a pulpit ... will get down the pike
like a Vaselined arrow, and with no more effort than skipping off a cliff"
1958 : "[Air conditionning] cold enough to blue the lips of an Eskimo
blubber collector parked inside a blast furnace ... corners flat as a
book-keeper's chest"
1959 : "Loaded as an opium peddler during a tong war ... hung in like oil
going through a hose ... The finest car built in America"
1959 Swivel seats : "As easy to get into as a floating crap game"
PLYMOUTH
1956 Fury : "Galosh and daisychain job ... the tenacity of a hungry bulldog
grabbing a hamburger ... sharp as the tongue of a Killarney bat"
1957 : "The snake belly look ... fastest overnight success since Sally Rand
dropped her fan"
1958 : "Outstanding as a $20 gold piece in a penny bank"
1959 : "The fins have been bullwhacked ... as fresh as next spring's
tomatoes ... best car of the low-priced three in our bald-headed opinion"
1960 Valiant 225 : "Hottest in the world for under $2500 ... best buy of the
three new compacts, the one I'd most like to own"
1961 : "Grooves like Atlas going up a chimney"
DESCRIPTIONS
Chrysler Powerflite automatic transmission : "Like a frozen custard mix"
Torsion bar suspension : "So superior to anything else being made in this
country that the contest isn't even close"
Chrysler Torqueflite automatic transmission : "Features an oil filter to
comb out the rocks and dog hair"
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